Yoda's Grammar Lessons
by Sanae
Summary: ObiWan's legendary patience is about to be tested by Jedi Master Yoda and the outcome isn't going to be pretty...


**DISCLAIMER:** Of course I don't own it. If my name were George Lucas I would probably have better things to do than to write fanfictions…In any case, it is useless to sue me…so don't waste your time.

_A little would-be-humorous fic I decided to write before starting the sequel to my Harry Potter fic. This is just intended to, hopefully, make you smile, it is not serious and it should not be taken as such._

_Please do forgive me, it is rather silly really…_

**Yoda's Grammar Lessons**

When Obi-Wan Kenobi agreed to give Jedi Master Yoda some grammar lessons, he really didn't know that he would be needing the patience of a hundred Buddha.

So, somehow, one fine afternoon, he found himself sitting in front of the venerated old master.

"Master, I have brought you the book we are going to use…" Obi-Wan said full of hope.

"A book I need not…all there is to learn in the Force is…" Yoda said very serious and looking rather stubborn.

This was going to be tricky.

"Alright…just give it a look, will you please?" Obi-Wan pleaded.

Yoda took the book in his little, green, wrinkled hands, opened it and gave it a bored look.

"Teach me with this, you will, huh?" Yoda asked rather incredulous.

"I will try…" Obi-Wan replied.

Big mistake.

"TRY? NO!! Try you must not. Do, always do. Try never you will"

Now he'd done it, Obi-Wan knew he was in for big trouble now. Yoda spent the next half an hour telling him off for making such a basic mistake.

Finally, after Obi-Wan had apologised in every language and way he knew, started again:

"Alright…first of all…Master Yoda…this is very important…you must learn to put the words in the right order…"

"The problem I don't see what is…my speech clear always is…" Yoda said looking at Obi-Wan as though as the young Jedi Knight had lost his marbles.

"Well…for example, what you've just said…you were supposed to say 'I don't see what the problem is, my speech is always clear'…see the difference?" Obi-Wan asked patiently ignoring the way the master was looking at him, with clear doubts regarding the young Jedi's mental health.

"No…not sure what you're on about…a problem you have I think…" Yoda said astonishing the younger Jedi.

This was going to be a nightmare. Obi-Wan had just known it from the beginning but had tried to ignore the whole thing.

"Ok…let's start with something easy…repeat with me, please 'Coruscant is the capital planet of the Republic" Obi-Wan said, hoping to get this lesson finally started.

"Why?" Yoda asked, now seriously thinking Obi-Wan had gone mad.

"Why, what?" Obi-Wan repeated utterly confused.

"Why say that I must? A fact that is, already know I do…grammar lessons these are, not geography," The old master replied rather patronisingly.

"Yes, of course…but, we're trying to practice here…" Oops…

Not again! Obi-Wan saw the little Jedi Master get a slightly darker shade of green, as in preparation, and Obi-Wan had to go through yet another half an hour of lecture.

His patience decreasing dangerously, Obi-Wan chose to ignore the whole thing and, once more, he started the lesson.

"Please…Master Yoda…we really need to do this…" Obi-Wan whispered…he was getting a headache now.

"Ok…Agree with you I do," Yoda replied shocking him again.

Obi-Wan refrained with all his might from rolling his eyes.

"Alright then…so, repeat with me ' The house is white', please?" Obi-Wan said praying for all that was good in the galaxy to help him.

Yoda seemed to be thinking about it making Obi-Wan even more nervous.

"White the house is, you think? Difficult to see it is, I think..." Yoda finally said.

"What? Why?" Obi-Wan asked getting desperate.

"Well…of the point of view it depends…white may it be for you but…for others it may not be…" Yoda replied very sure of himself.

Ok…Obi-Wan had had it. He was giving up…not even his entire Jedi training had prepared for this. He was beginning to get scared now.

"Much fear I sense for you…fear leads to anger, anger leads to the dark side…and dangerous the dark side is…destructive is…"

Right…As Master Yoda started yet again with another lecture, Obi-Wan started considering very seriously whether he should just give up being a Jedi Knight and become a ballet dancer instead…

The so-called-lesson finished and Yoda left the room aboard his floating chair muttering to himself.

Mace Windu, the respected Jedi Council Member, came in to the room and seeing Obi-Wan still sitting there, asked:

"So…how did it go?"

Obi-Wan lifted his eyes to look at Master Windu and, shaking his head in defeat said:

"Not sure of it I am…the future of these lessons unclear is…"

THE END


End file.
